Setting the Stage for Your Comeback

Are you living up to your full potential? If not, why not? The only way to fully answer this question is to take an in-depth look at how you have lived your life up to this point. What is the belief system ingrained in you?

Some of us grew up with a mother at home full-time or one who may have had a part-time job. Others may have had a mom who worked outside the home full-time. But one of the common themes among most of our moms is they were often overworked and underappreciated. Watching our moms showed us how we should treat ourselves.

In many of our household, we had moms who had classic cases of total selflessness. Selflessness is the quality of unselfish concern for the welfare of others. While this can be an admirable trait, many women, moms in particular, take it to an extreme. One thing we must understand is it isn't good to be selfish, nor totally selfless. Our goal should be to find a healthy point in the middle.

It was rare for my mom to take any time for herself, even to do small things like getting a pedicure. One of my most vivid memories is of her regularly giving herself a pedicure while taking a bath. She had so much on her plate, being a mother of five children, a wife, and having a nursing career. Fortunately (perhaps) for her, she was able to stop working to stay home full-time when I was nine years old. But her selflessness still continued.

This was a trait that I began to acquire, until I realized that it wasn't benefiting me, nor my family, to be selfless...yet resentful. You see, it's no good to be selfless and then resent everyone for not "allowing" you to take time for yourself. Happily, I learned that I had a CHOICE as to how I lived my life.

I would like to think that I became enlightened by myself. But the truth is, I had a lot help and yet, I'm still not totally where I'd like to be. But what I know now is, it's my right to be happy and fulfilled right now, not when I'm an empty-nester.

So, here's your assignment. Schedule time for yourself, away from everyone, at least once a week. And this time should not include running errands or anything else that's mundane. This time should be spent totally focused on you. It could be time you spend getting a mani/pedi, taking a yoga class, meditating, or doing anything else that fulfills you. Doing this simply makes you feel valued and shows others that you care about yourself. Take this first step...it's an important one!